I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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