Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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