the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
