The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I stole a fireplace last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
