Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
