32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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