Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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