You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
