I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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