First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
