You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
