Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
