I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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