i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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