my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
A bitchslap is in order.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
