my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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