dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
