I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
