I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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