nut hugger
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
