so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
