I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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