We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
