I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
