Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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