He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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