bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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