Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just googled if crying burns calories
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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