Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize