i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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