and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The uberlube is also flammable
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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