when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I need moral support for this bender
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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