remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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