hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
