You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
