that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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