i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I only lived at night.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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