Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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