You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
