ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
