If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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