Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize