I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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