I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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