he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize