FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
