She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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