i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize