so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
