just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
