Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
