He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
