He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
