If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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