if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
