So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
