Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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