what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
