I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
