You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize