just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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