At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
