Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
