so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
