From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
