You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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