I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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