His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
