i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
