ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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