every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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