yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
