I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize