My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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