just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
